A Marked Man

     As I was standing backstage with Paco making fun of how he dressed, Unknown was no where around and I had no one to pick on, the locker-room was awfully quiet. Paco pointed that out to me. I saw Ricky Stryc9 walking around trying to focus himself and the door to the Hollywood hustlers room was wide open but they were not their normal loud obnoxious selves.

     Art Mendez came and put the match listings up on the wall and gave the other refs. their posts. There was a distinct buzz in the locker-room. Paco and I headed out to the arena and started the show, looking back I was uneasy, something felt wrong. Instead of being overly excited like I felt I should have been I felt really anxious, Not the normal anxious I get like when I know Balls and Gorilla would tie up. Or Sabu will take on Crusher or Jerry Lynn or anyone. No, I felt like there was something going down and I didn’t have a clue about it.

     The first match between Quinson Valentino and Rory of The Hotscots was awesome. Rory whipped that man from pillar to post! They both have some history and Rory was in rare form, the little weapon that Quinson had just didn’t work in his favor. Quinson had the upper hand but fell short of the victory.

     Eddie Cruz vs Hotstuff Rivera was good, Eddie Cruz is someone I am gonna keep my eye on. Anthony got the dupe by some devious methods of course. Gorilla Barone vs Remy Gonzales was as hard-hitting as I expected. Remy gave up maybe 120 pounds to the one man wrecking crew and did put up a good fight but Gorilla stayed true to form and made short work of him. Julian vs Stryc9 was close, Paco and I kept changing our mind as to who was going to win. Julian won and I don’t care what anyone thinks, that boy is evil. Wicked, weird and just a flat out freak. Spooky like the Amityville Horror, he’s on some strange Dracula/Charles Manson tip. Thurston vs Robbie the Hotscott was 8 stars easy, Thurston got desperate at one point pulling out some powder, which Robbie threw back into Thurstons face but he still somehow ended up getting pinned. Actually the somehow is that punk Anthony Rivera.

     The next match we saw The Great Mongo vs Joe E Legend. Here is a problem I have. Why is Joe E Legend here now? How did he weasel his way into our ranks? Actually the why is simple. We introduced a belt and BAM, they come out of the woodwork. Joe is a funny guy, always bragging about the “Technical Superiority of Canadian Wrestlers” but once he is in the ring, if he aint complaining about a slow count then he is using closed fists and eye pokes and low blows. Arrogant as all get out, That man is so full of himself I’m surprised he hasn’t burst. He’s been everywhere, Literally! Japan, Mexico, Canada, every state in the union, Europe and now we are cursed/blessed with his presence. Paco says that he’s glad he’s here because the competition just got more aggressive. I agree but I will never tell Paco that. I don’t want him to get the idea that I agree with him. Ever since Olympia turned on us and I had to buy him dinner he won’t shut up about it.

     Blackjack Phoenix made his return and took on Crusher who was so overly aggressive and just full on vicious it was a hard fought but short match. Honestly I was stuck on this one; I’ve made no bones about it. I can’t stand The Crusher; he’s a pooh-butt who had the audacity to put his hands on me. I’m worse than an elephant, I will never forget. I was stuck because on one side we had a cowboy and on the other we had a maniacal jerk.

STOOD UP CRAZY

      Sabu v Balls Mahoney is where those feelings of uncertainty came to fruition. Shaffee handed Sabu a chair, Sabu uses them like heat seeking missals as we all know, Balls took it to Sabu and at one point had the match wrapped up then Sahffee brought out a table and Sabu got the upper hand and put Balls through it gaining the pin. Balls got up slowly.

I’m telling you I have seen this before in other people. He stood up crazy. When he went down he was the Balls that I have come to really like. Balls is funny, and has thousands of stories about his days in ECW and 3PW, stories about Tommy Dreamer, New Jack and the whole crew. Normally he keeps me in stitches during the shows. Not this time. He stood up and stared at Sabu, he looked at Shaffee and then grabbed the ref. by the collar. Balls yelled, “Everything that happens from now on is all your fault!” He jumped out of the ring and looked at Tom and Ed Farhat and said, “ I tried to have a fair match! I didn’t use any chairs or nothing! I tried to do this your way! Now your cousin can do whatever he wants and I’m supposed to be OK with that? I’ll show you how I can be unfair too”

     In their defense, Tom and Ed have about as much control over Sabu as I have over a tornado. NONE.

     I went into the back to check on Balls and try to cool him down. He was on the phone. He was talking about “Then you have to help me get the belt! I’ll see to it that you can come back!” I don’t know what he was saying. Balls came out of the dressing room and looked at me. Just stared. I asked him if he was OK and he laughed. Then he said, “Medicine you have to fight fire with fire” and pushed me.

     Right here I just want to say something to all of the wrestlers in this company. Keep your hand off of me; I haven’t cut like that. There is no need to touch me. You could very well find yourself picking yourself up off the ground wondering where all the blood is coming from.

     During the main event it was amazing. Sabu was first in the cage circling like a vulture. The other got into the ring and the bell rang and BAM! There were no friends in that ring. Everyone was an enemy combatant. The men fought like wild animals tearing into each other like a pit bull at an all pork buffet!

     When we were down to just four competitors it got really wild. Barone squared off against Crusher and Sabu and Joe E Legend tore into each other like men possessed (Like Julian theWarlock is). I’m standing there just loving this match, I can’t believe all you suckers who didn’t come to see it when out of nowhere I hear “Let me go! You’re choking me! Stop it!” Balls had Shaffee wrapped up and handcuffed! Sabu saw this and began climbing the cage; Balls slammed Shaffee into the cage and then did the unthinkable. He drank a whole mouthful of lighter fluid, lit it and spit it on Sabu! The fireball went from Sabu’s waist all the way to the top of his head, knocking Sabu back to the opposite side of the ring. That’s when The Crusher dropped down to the floor wining the belt.

     Paco announced him as the winner and the arena was silent. Shock. What in the hell is Balls issue? Balls and Sabu go way way back. Friends? As much a friend as you can be with someone like Sabu. They did have a relationship. That’s is a thing of the past.

     Crusher thinks that he is all of that and a bag of pork rinds. I say he’s a major dunce. That belt has changed people. He is the number one guy. Sure is. Numero UNO!

Number one on the entire wrestlers list. Sabu, Barone, Balls, Mongo, Blackjack, Brooks, Legend, everyone want it and knowing the wrestlers here in the AWWL they will go to any means to get it. Crusher is mistaken if he thinks that he has it made. He may have proven himself as champion material sure, but worthy to be champion? That only comes through title defenses. I want to go on record here and say that had it not been for Balls doing that to Sabu then he would not be champ.

     Commissioner Allen has made sure that the next show in Grand Rapids will feature a three-way dance between Balls, Sabu and the Crusher for the Heavyweight title. That is not a match I would want to be in, but it sure is something that I can’t wait to see.

     Shaffee was holding his head in his hands when I saw him after the show. I asked him what he was thinking and the only thing on his mind is revenge. He’s really slipping here folks. The stress of managing Sabu and taking him to the gold has gotten to him. I know he will read this and probably be mad but it’s the truth. He’s different. Not necessarily in a good way.

     I have a feeling of who Balls was on the phone with, its not confirmed or anything it’s just a feeling so I’m not going to speculate. I just hope I’m wrong.

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